Managing meltdowns during the holidays
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EmailUse these strategies to reduce frustration and tears with your child this holiday season.
Along with visits from family, gifts, celebrations, meals and special memories, the holiday season can often become overwhelming for children and adults alike. While adults can verbalize feelings of stress, children often cannot and may resort to tantrums—usually at the most inopportune times. Teaching kids how to cope with frustration can reduce tantrums and empower them to communicate their needs effectively.
Michigan State University Extension recommends the following strategies for a happier holiday season with your children:
It’s OK to say no
Many families feel pressure to attend countless family, friend and work gatherings. These busy days and long nights can become quite overwhelming for small children who need their rest. Think carefully about what you say yes to, and be sure your children are getting enough rest and down time. When children are pushed to their limits, we are setting them up for a tough night.
Remember the routine
Stick to family routines as much as possible. Adequate sleep, healthy meals and unstructured playtime provide comfort and predictability, reducing stress. Routines provide children with a sense of comfort and security in being able to predict what comes next.
Teach children how to manage emotions
Oftentimes, parents will say they just want their children to be happy. But the reality is that children need to experience a wide range of emotions appropriately. They will feel mad, sad, tired and frustrated, and we want them to experience these things without losing their temper. Some strategies to teach children to manage their emotions include:
- Name it to tame it. Teach children the words for their feelings. Help them see the connection between how they’re feeling and their behavior. Talk and read books about emotions, and help children build a vocabulary for their emotions.
- Teach calming activities. Deep breaths, blowing bubbles, sensory play, finger-painting, calming jars, coloring and other activities can help children find some physical relief to their pent-up frustrations. Support children in figuring out what helps them calm down. Remember that not all children will use the same strategies.
Avoid digital quick fixes
Handing a child a tablet or phone during a tantrum may seem effective short-term, but studies show it hinders emotional regulation development and leads to poorer anger management later in life.
Plan ahead
Pack items to help your child stay calm during long days: favorite toys, blankets, coloring books, calming music, or stress-relief tools like bubbles or pinwheels. Consistent, proactive planning reduces stress for both parents and children.
Be patient and kind
Reframe tantrums as learning opportunities rather than misbehavior. Support children through big emotions with empathy and calm responses. Evidence suggests that consistent, supportive parenting reduces tantrum severity over time.
For more information on child and family development including articles, videos and classes, please visit the MSU Extension Child and Family Development website.
