MSU Extension Child & Family Development

Is your child ready to learn to use the potty all on their own? The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) shares that the average American child begins toilet training between two and three years of age and is completely bowel and bladder trained by four years of age. However, physical capability and emotional readiness do not always occur at the same time! Toilet training is one of the first skills that a child completely controls. Parents can bribe, plead, schedule and hope that their child will pick up this skill quickly, but until the child is ready and motivated, it will not happen!

Michigan State University Extension provides five tips for potty success with your toddler:

1. Wait for signs of readiness. Is your child dry for at least two hours during the day or waking up from nap dry? Are they able to follow simple directions? Are they telling you that they have to go potty? Hiding when they go to the bathroom? Asking to have their diaper changed as soon as it is wet or dirty? If you wait until your child is showing an awareness of their natural urges to use the bathroom, you will succeed much more quickly. Once they begin to show that they know they have to go or have just went, it will be easier to move them out of that diaper and on to the potty! Another question to ask is if you are ready. Potty training takes up to three months of devoted effort on the parent and caregiver’s behalf. Reminders, accidents and cleanup are to be expected. The AAP has more information about the cognitive, emotional and physical skills needed for success in potty training.
2. Choose your time wisely. Think carefully about when you want to start your child on this journey. Do you have a vacation coming up? A long drive in the car? A new baby coming? While it’s tempting to push potty learning prior to new baby’s arrival or before you head out of town to lessen the load, know these situations often end in failure or a regression of new skills. Wait for a long stretch of time at home, when the routine is consistent, the caregivers are the same and nothing big or new is occurring so your child can feel safe and secure. Many children are successful learning at childcare where they are with other children learning to use the toilet. There is a lot of positive peer pressure in seeing that your friends are big enough to use the potty. If your childcare provider is working on these skills, talk with them about their methods/strategies and work together for consistency.
3. Have a plan. Do you want to try to use a formal method? What words will you use? Potty chair or potty ring for the toilet? Take into account the need to talk to your child in public and their ability to communicate to others that they need to go to the bathroom. Teaching the sign for potty/toilet may be helpful. Have a little potty or potty seat at home that fits their smaller body. A stool will be needed if your child is using the adult sized toilet. Flushable wipes help with learning how to wipe correctly (although most should not be flushed!). Set a timer or routine reminders about when to try the potty. Technology like Amazon’s Alexa can be used to tell your child when it’s time to go. Start talking with your child about identifying the feeling that they have to go to the bathroom. The AAP has a wealth of great articles and videos on potty training to consider as you’re developing your plan.
4. Keep it exciting and positive. Consider purchasing new fun undies with their favorite character, a potty seat that is just their size, a bright colored step stool to reach the sink, soap with their favorite characters on the bottle or other fun items to make their new skill exciting! Also provide lots of verbal praise and encouragement, “You went to the bathroom on the potty! What a big girl!” Children enjoy making their parents so excited that they clap, sing and dance around to celebrate success! Some parents find a sticker chart to be helpful as well.
   
   Do not punish or shame your child when they do have an accident. As the saying goes, accidents happen. It’s part of the learning process. Scolding and other negative reinforcement typically backfire. Simply provide reflective feedback, such as, “Uh oh! You had an accident! Next time let’s try to go on the potty! Come on and help Mama clean it up.” If accidents are occurring with frequency, it might be time to reevaluate your plan. Does your child need more reminders? Are they not ready yet? Accidents in a previously potty-trained child can indicate a health need such as a urinary tract infection and should be followed up by contacting your child’s pediatrician.
5. Expect nights to take longer. It takes most children longer to be dry at night than during the day. These accidents usually decrease in frequency until they are gone, usually by age five although up to age seven is normal. Expect to need to continue to use a pull-up or diaper during this time frame until your child is consistently waking up dry. Do not shame or discipline children for prolonged night wetting. For some children, night wetting, also known as nocturnal enuresis, will continue well into childhood. Typically, there is no need for medical intervention until reaching ages eight to ten. According to the Mayo Clinic, 40-50% of children with nocturnal bedwetting had parents who experienced bedwetting. This is most likely to be boys whose fathers had trouble staying dry at night. The good news is that now there are commercially available products for older children that have trouble staying dry. These help those individuals attend sleepovers, camp, etc. without the associated worrying of waking up wet in front of their peers. If bed-wetting remains a constant issue and you have concerns, your pediatrician is a good source of more developmentally appropriate information.

MSU Extension advises you to take time to plan ahead before you approach potty training. With planning and patience, this task can be completed with minimum fuss and tears. Before you know it, your big kid will have this skill down and you will be able to move on to the next big skill.