Redefining boundaries

Jennifer Weichel<weichel@msu.edu>, Michigan State University Extension -

Boundaries can change as situations and people change.

Do some situations leave you feeling uncomfortable? Perhaps it’s something as simple as staying late at the office yet again. It may be time to readjust your boundaries.

Just as our jobs, friends and priorities change, boundaries can change too over time as we get to know people and situations. As we kick off the New Year, take time to reconsider your boundaries so can be the person you were meant to be in 2018.

To begin, Michigan State University Extension encourages you to write down:

  • The types of situations that have made you uncomfortable.
  • The types of situations that have left you frustrated or feeling resentful.
  • The times you felt you were taken for granted.

After you have captured these thoughts in writing, consider the patterns you see emerging and what rules you could have in place that would have helped you avoid these situations.  What positive actions can you take to avoid these situations or change the dynamic? This will help you further develop your boundaries and clarify what they need to be.

As you redefine boundaries, you will need to communicate to others what has changed so they know what to expect. If they have not been supportive, speak up and ask for their support; be specific and say how they could be more supportive. 

This article was published by Michigan State University Extension. For more information, visit https://extension.msu.edu. To have a digest of information delivered straight to your email inbox, visit https://extension.msu.edu/newsletters. To contact an expert in your area, visit https://extension.msu.edu/experts, or call 888-MSUE4MI (888-678-3464).

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