Ten tips to teach thankfulness
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EmailIdeas to help build an “attitude of gratitude” with your family.
Being grateful and thankful takes practice, especially for young children who do not yet have a global perspective to view what they have or don’t have, in relation to others. Michigan State University Extension offers the following 10 tips to build an attitude of gratitude in your children this Thanksgiving.
- Model grateful behavior. Children learn by observing adults, so modeling gratitude is essential. When you consistently say “thank you” and acknowledge effort, you teach children that appreciation is part of everyday life. For example, praising their hard work with statements like “You worked so hard on picking up your room! Thank you!” reinforces positive behavior. Research shows that parental modeling of gratitude significantly influences children’s emotional development and prosocial behavior.
- Have children help. Assigning age-appropriate chores helps children understand the effort behind household tasks. When they participate in cleaning, cooking or organizing, they begin to appreciate the unseen work that keeps a home running. This hands-on involvement fosters empathy and responsibility, which are foundational for gratitude.
- Get them excited about giving. Encourage children to think beyond their own wants by creating a list of people they would like to thank during the holiday season. Brainstorm homemade gifts or thoughtful gestures for friends, teachers and community helpers. Studies show that engaging children in acts of giving promotes emotional resilience and gratitude development.
- Help children understand gifts are thoughtful gestures. Explain that gifts represent kindness and thoughtfulness, not just material gain. Use examples like, “It was so kind of her to draw that picture for you—she must think you’re a good friend.” This helps children value the intention behind gifts rather than focusing solely on the item itself.
- Be thankful. Create a thankfulness routine, such as sharing what you’re grateful for at bedtime or during family meals. Research indicates that regular gratitude practices improve family functioning and overall well-being, reducing stress and increasing positive emotions.
- Giving back to the community helps children develop empathy and gratitude. Whether it’s donating mittens, volunteering at a food pantry, or helping at an animal shelter, these experiences teach children that their actions can make a difference. Gratitude-based activities like volunteering have been linked to stronger social connections and emotional health.
- Teach where things come from. Show children the effort behind everyday items. For example, explain the steps involved in producing a glass of milk—from raising and caring for cows to processing and shipping. A home garden can also illustrate the work behind food production. Understanding these processes fosters appreciation for resources and the people who provide them.
- Practice makes perfect. Role-play saying thank you for unexpected gifts to normalize gratitude responses. Make it fun by pretending to receive silly gifts and responding graciously. This practice helps children internalize gratitude as a habit, even when circumstances are surprising or disappointing.
- Make thank-you notes. Writing thank-you notes reinforces gratitude and strengthens social bonds. Encourage children to create personalized notes or drawings within a few days of receiving gifts. Research shows that expressing gratitude through writing enhances emotional well-being and nurtures relationships.
- Create a gratitude jar. Recording small moments of gratitude and reviewing them later helps families maintain a positive outlook. Jot down things like “I’m thankful for Grandma’s cookies” or “I’m grateful we won the soccer game.” Reflecting on these entries reminds children of the good in their lives and builds resilience.
Learn more in the Early Childhood Education Journal article, “Exploring the impact of gratitude practice as a protective factor for young children,” the Harvard Graduate School of Education’s “How to raise grateful children,” and the APA Journal Emotion article, “Gratitude improves parents’ well-being and family functioning.”
