The practice of waiting
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EmailThe complicated act of patience.
“Of all the hardships a person had to face, none was more punishing than the simple act of waiting.” – Khaled Hosseini
Patience is a virtue, because waiting is hard. Waiting for the results of medical testing or a job interview can feel excruciating. Many people even report feeling more anxious during the period of waiting than they felt after receiving bad news.
While we wait, we cannot make time move faster and we often cannot move forward until we receive the answer. At least after we receive bad news, we can create a plan to respond.
Anticipatory anxiety, or the anxiety we experience as we wait for results or answers, comes from the understanding that we cannot be certain of what will come, nor can we control it. Not knowing what will happen or feeling that we do not have any control over the outcome is stressful. In the face of this kind of stress, we may find that the ways we have coped in the past are no longer effective. If this is the case, it might be time to explore some new coping strategies.
It is also important to recognize that not every coping tool will be useful for your needs, and it is okay to implement and keep only what works for you. If you find that you are bored quickly during meditation, then perhaps meditation is not a good fit for you. It might be more useful to talk to someone or to find a creative outlet. Stress recovery is not a one-size-fits-all approach.
New coping strategies to try
- Mindfulness. Taking time each day to pause, breathe and focus on how we feel can be especially helpful. This might include activities like journaling, breathing exercises or activities that promote feelings of gratitude.
- Listening to music. Music has been found to be effective in stress recovery. It has been linked to positive psychological and physical changes during stressful events. Music affects our mood and may provide a welcomed distraction from racing thoughts. It is most effective when you find a genre of music that is calming or uplifting, something that makes you feel better.
- Refocusing. Finding helpful ways to refocus our attention on the things we can presently control. Embrace distraction! Find tasks that can be completed and that will allow you to regain a sense of control, such as organizing a closet or weeding a flower bed. It may also be helpful to try visualization or relaxation techniques.
- Exercising and getting enough physical movement. Consistent exercise has been found to reduce the impact of stress and reduce recovery time. Including 10-30 minutes of daily physical activity can mitigate the negative effects of stress. Make physical activity a fun and rewarding part of your daily routine with aerobic, balance, flexibility and strength movements. There are many ways to get moving, and you have everything you need to get started.
- Building a health and wellness plan for yourself to start new goals and take actions to improve your overall health and well-being.
- Limiting check-ins. When we are waiting for an answer or decision, we may find ourselves checking our phone or email frequently. Checking often increases our feelings of anxiety, as we develop a pattern of checking, feeling disappointment or frustration, and then checking again. Instead, consider setting boundaries for how and when you will check. Set a schedule or decide you will only check your email when you are at your computer.
Ways to connect
Waiting can be frustrating, and it is easy for us to worry about all of the “what-ifs” that may come. If you find that you are experiencing overwhelming anticipatory anxiety, please consider reaching out for support. You are not alone.
Michigan State University Extension offers a variety of programming and resources to support yourself or loved ones undergoing mental health distress. MSU Extension offers programs such as Mental Health First Aid, which can teach you how to support someone who is experiencing a mental health challenge or crisis.
For those in the agriculture industry and their families, resources and information can be found at the Managing Farm Stress website. These resources include teletherapy services, the free virtual training Rural Resilience and much more.
