Language tips for group management
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EmailThe words you use can have an impact on youth behavior.
When working with youth, there are often many dynamics at play, including the environment or space you are in, the personalities of the youth present and the energy levels. From the start of a program, event or meeting, considering your word choice can help with youth success.
Words, like in a story, can paint a picture in our heads so paint the picture you want in terms of behavior. Comment on what you want to see or what behavior you are expecting. Tell youth what TO do instead of what NOT to do. For instance, it is more effective to say “walk” instead of “don’t run,” because youth can picture and follow the words of walking versus doing the opposite.
A few other suggestions from Michigan State University Extension and Michigan 4-H Youth Development to support adult volunteers working with youth:
- Be clear and specific with instructions. For example, “be quiet” can mean different things to different people or in different settings. What does “be quiet” mean in your setting?
- Focus on one instruction or direction at a time so participants can focus on and complete that first.
- Offer choices but not an unlimited amount. Support youth in arriving at a few choices that you are comfortable with as a leader. Engage youth in voting for the choice that they prefer and honor that some youth will not get their choice and it might need to be the choice at a later time/place.
- Be careful with the use of the word “okay?” at the end of a statement OR asking a question when you want to give a direction. The “okay?” or questions turn your directions into a choice, often unintentionally, when it was really an instruction.
- Use reflective language. Say what you see youth doing and give appreciation for the good behavior choices you are witnessing. This can be used with a large group or said to individual youth to build up positive behavior choices. Be specific about the behaviors you see. Repeat back what you hear youth are saying or sharing so they know they are also heard and respected.
- Focus on your own feelings and needs when communicating the behavior challenges. For instance, you can say, “I’m having a hard time hearing…please make different choices.” Or “I am responsible for keeping you safe. Please walk around the pool.”
- Avoid shaming or humiliating language such as “You are all being rude.” Instead, focus on the specific behavior you wish to change such as “I am feeling frustrated that there was talking at the same time as someone else. We need to listen to each other and respect the person talking.”
Through thoughtful word choices, volunteers can not only model good communication techniques for life, they can also help build positive and productive group dynamics.
For additional helpful volunteer training content, check out the MSU Extension Michigan 4-H Volunteer Webinar Series webpage.
MSU Extension and Michigan 4-H Youth Development help to prepare young people for successful futures. To find out how to get involved as a youth participant or an adult volunteer, contact your county MSU Extension office.
